Competition vs. Comparison: How I Learned to Respect Other Models While Building My Own Path

A personal reflection on staying kind in a competitive industry — Paige Van Asten

Hey loves,

When I first started camming, I used to scroll through other models’ rooms and feel this heavy mix of admiration and insecurity. I’d see girls who were killing it — better lighting, more viewers, prettier setups, bigger tips — and I’d immediately start comparing myself. “Why don’t I have that many people in my room?” “Why does her tip menu work so much better than mine?” “Am I even cut out for this?”

Over time, I realized something important: Other models are not my enemy. They’re competition in the business sense, yes — but they’re also just women trying to make a living, dealing with their own struggles, insecurities, and challenges, exactly like me.

The Reality of Competition in This Industry

Let’s be honest — camming *is* competitive. There are thousands of beautiful, talented women online at any given time. Some days it can feel like you’re fighting for attention in a very crowded space.

But here’s what I’ve learned after years of doing this: The models who treat other women with respect and kindness usually end up happier and more successful in the long run. The ones who are constantly tearing others down or obsessing over what everyone else is doing tend to burn out faster.

Why Comparison Hurts More Than It Helps

Comparison is a thief. When I used to compare myself to top earners, I would either feel terrible about myself or try to copy exactly what they were doing. Neither approach worked well for me.

Copying someone else’s style almost never feels authentic, and viewers can sense when you’re not being yourself. Plus, what works for one model might completely flop for another because our personalities, audiences, and energies are different.

I had to learn to stop looking at other models as a measuring stick for my own worth.

Learning From Top Models Without Copying Them

That said, I *do* watch successful models and learn from them. I just try to do it in a healthy way now.

Instead of thinking “I need to be exactly like her,” I ask myself:

• What is she doing that feels good and natural?
• How is she engaging with her chat?
• What kind of energy is she bringing into the room?
• Is there something about her tip menu or goals that I could adapt in my own way?

I take the pieces that feel aligned with who I am and leave the rest. Over time, this helped me develop my own style instead of trying to be a watered-down version of someone else.

Respecting Other Models as Human Beings

One thing that really shifted my perspective was realizing that every model I admire or feel competitive with has her own struggles. Some are dealing with health issues, family problems, mental health challenges, or financial stress — just like anyone else.

Even the girls who seem to have it all together are human. They have bad days, slow rooms, and moments of doubt. When I started seeing other models as fellow women rather than just “competition,” it became much easier to be kind and respectful when talking about them.

I try to never speak badly about other models — not in my room, not in private conversations, and not online. There’s enough negativity in this industry already. I’d rather be known as someone who lifts others up.

Developing Your Own Unique Style

The models who stand out the most long-term are usually the ones who lean into what makes them different, not the ones who try to copy whatever is trending.

Your personality, your sense of humor, your interests, your energy — these are your superpowers. The more you develop and trust your own style, the more you’ll attract the right kind of regulars who connect with *you*, not with a copy of someone else.

It took me a while to stop chasing what was “working” for other people and start trusting what felt good for me. Once I did that, everything started feeling lighter and more sustainable.

Final Thoughts

Competition exists in this industry, and that’s okay. It can even be motivating when approached with the right mindset. But comparison — especially the toxic kind — will only hold you back.

Learn from the models you admire. Take what resonates with you and leave what doesn’t. Be kind when you speak about other women, because you never know what someone is going through behind the camera.

And most importantly, keep developing *your* style. The world doesn’t need another copy of someone else. It needs *you*, showing up as your most authentic self.

You’re not behind. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just on your own path — and that’s exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Be kind to yourself and to the women around you.
We’re all figuring this out together.

With love,
Paige ❤️

Disclaimer: This article is based on my personal journey and reflections. Everyone’s experience in this industry is different. What matters most is finding what feels right and sustainable for you.